He was always afraid of the quiet. Silence around him meant that the voices in his head would come out. He was suffering from depression and had been taking medications since a long period of time. But so far none of the drugs had helped quieten the voices in his head. Anything he used to do, the voices used to tell him that he would never be good at it.
Even when he got married, the voices used to convince him that he was a terrible husband and that his wife hates him. He used to increase his medications in those times, but it would be of little help to him.
And then she got pregnant. The voices got even stronger. They used to tell him everyday that he would be a horrible father and the kid would hate him and wish him dead. He started getting scared of the unborn child. The tiny clothes his parents brought for the unborn child used to haunt him at night. The toys used to be his nightmares.
The day his wife went into labour, he could not dare go with her to the hospital. He stayed at refusing to go to the hospital. The voices threatened that the baby will hate him too, just like how his wife hates him. After a lot of heavy medications and self cajoling, he finally made it to the hospital. His wife had delivered a baby girl and was very excited for him to meet the baby. It took all of his will power to go towards the baby.
However, nothing could prepare him for what he experienced on holding his baby for the first time. The moment he held his daughter in his hands, all he could see was her tiny eyes transfixed on him, the small toothless smile building up and all he could hear was the rapid fluttering of her tiny heart.
That night, lying next to the newborn’s cradle, he slept peacefully for the first time in ages, the sound of her heart beat being his lullaby of peace. The voices gone forever. Quiet no longer scared him.